Parent or not, we all know that kids say the darndest things... sometimes even at the most inopportune moment. These three parents have shared with us their stories. These stories for parents and nonparents alike: Kids Say the Darndest - Parents Funny Quotes - Funny Things Kids Say. This is a series of stories of three embarrassing moments brought to us by our amazingly humorous and intelligent daughters. Feel free to share your own stories. We love laughing together.
Stories for Parents 1 - Future Comedian
My daughter, Cynthia, started this little act when she was three years old. She had no idea WHY is it was funny, only that it earned enough laughs that she repeated the skit many, many times throughout the following year.
We were waiting in line to order lunch at a local neighborhood diner. As we waited in line, she was her normal energetic, bubbly self. A group of four young men waited in line ahead of us. They were chatted amongst themselves, minding their own business, when Cynthia decides to tap one of them on the leg.
They stop talking.
He looks down at Cynthia and smiles.
Cynthia says to him, “Are you my Daddy?”
Oh my goodness. His friends erupted into laughter. He looked at me, panic in his eyes, before awkwardly joining the laughter.
It was mortifying!
Cynthia had absolutely no idea why this was funny, but absolutely loved the resulting laughter. She continued this routine EVERY TIME a group of men was around.
Stories for Parents 2 - Future Prosecutor
So, I watched one of those youtube videos. You know the videos, they make a one-hour project look easy as pie. This video was making a three-tiered planter in the kitchen window. The plan was to utilize the large window for a winter herb garden.
The one-hour project was now on day three. I had rows of basil, oregano, cilantro, dill all planted in cute painted pots. I had all three tiers with perfectly-spaced holes for the pots, and even the hardware rigged into the ceiling for hanging. I was only missing the rope for the final step.
I grab Kate, bundle her up, and head to Lowes. The rope was only available in 50-foot lengths. We grab it and head to the checkout.
The checkout gal grabbed it and absently starts to throw it into a bag.
Kate, with a huge smile on her face, chirps out, “we use that to catch people!”
The checkout gal looked at me like I was a serial killer.
I definitely paid cash! Who knows what list I was on after that.
Stories for Parents 1 - Future Therapist
My moment happened the week of an annual fundraiser for my dance troupe. Every Mardi Gras the Chorus Girls have a huge dance competition, raffle of amazing prizes, and fabulous live music to fund our parades. For the last few years I would organize the money and raffle for these events. It was enjoyable.
This particular year the fundraiser was the same week of gifted testing for my daughter. It was on a Friday, giving me just enough time to have an hour at the testing facility and the hop right into the car to Porchjam Distillery. This is a New Orleans staple, and they were kind enough to donate a whole case of Bolden Vodka to the raffle. This case and tour combination was a hot item in selling raffle tickets, so it was important to get there before the facility closed for the weekend.
The testing facilitator was running a little late, so the test ran over time. But then we waited for a very long time for the relevant paperwork before we could leave. I was getting extremely impatient, tapping my leg and trying to see if anyone could run to the distillery on my behalf. I could miss picking this up and letting my troupe down.
Finally the facilitator comes out with the paperwork. She was very polite and kind, having so idea the timeline I was attempting on a parade weekend.
My sweet daughter marched up to her and states, “We are in a huge hurry! Its after 1:00 and my mom NEEDS her vodka!”
I mean, what do you say after that?
Kids are the best
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